Dumball Rally 2007

The final 24hrs...

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 16:40:36 GMT

OK. So everyone has got rid of their cars and is on their way back to Istanbul. After finally being able to get I lie in, me, Marnie and Gears start organising the awards ceremony for later.

The hotel has a big breakfast room downstairs which we quickly take over. "We'll use it from 6-8pm" they're told. We don't leave until way past nine and have rearranged their tables and used their kitchen as a dressing room in the meantime. Falcon the fabled fixer is on hand and given the task of getting us a PA. He eventually finds us one for £120 for a couple of hours! We um and ah, but go for it and in the end it's the right decision - it gives the evening a proper professional feel. The markets, allies and stall of Istanbul around the hotel make fertile hunting ground and we pick up all sorts of rubbish for the awards. Rick 'n' Nick had already got most of it, but things had happened along the way and 'spot prizes' needed to be brought.

I'm afraid I can't remember who got what and why, and I don't have great pictures of it, but here's some of what went on:

Ice White got some nice pink feather boas for the costume efforts and the Kofi Annan aware for Viola, Dan mini-Addy got nicked again, big Addy got the Eyeless Bat, B-Team got the sex pest award - Turkish Viagra and the World Most Horrible Team got a bottle of piss. Nationwide's Kwikest won the coverted Spirit of the Dumball monkey and the Key to the Dumball - free entry next year in Rick 'n' Nick's car. The special celebrity guest ("You asked for the Chuckle Brothers... He's met them. It's that bloke who's been hanging round all day, Steve McConvile!") announced his own special guest and a very humble Frank Smally gave our mighty leaders a couple Fezs, some silly records and an 'ancient' map of Europe to plan for next year. On to the belly dancing...

The Dumball Cars 2007

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 21:38:37 GMT

The pictures you've all been waiting for. As shot in the car park of the Atomiun, Saturday 9th June, 2007:

Squadron 1
Dumball One
Team Leader and Rally Organiser

The World's Most Horrible Team

Nationwide's Kwikest
Ice White
The Daisy Dukes
Team Hud

Squadron 2
Raging Bull - Team Leader
Rave Rockets
Middle Eastern Mussel Patrol

Steel Mobile

Samara Monkeys

The Begrudgers

Squadron 3

Team Embassy - Team Leader	Adam's Apple	Bankrupt Bandits
Perigin Falcon	P.I.M.M.	(not from the Atomium. They were late!)

Squadron 4

Ghostbusters - Team Leader	Hot Fuzz	Team Adam Armstrong
The B Team	Team Stealth

The Crew

Start at the bottom and read up...

Right, lets finish this off.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 18:36:24 GMT

OK, so back to the story telling. We'd just got on the coach.

By this point we were pretty low on energy. We'd all had a big night out in Varna, driving for hours on mountain roads, got dicked around by our friends in Bulgaria and then waited in limbo for hours. But we all agreed that moral was very high. It was a damn shame that we had had to leave Dumball One behind, but it had fun at the border - pretending we were going to have to live there forever but knowing that it would all get sorted out eventually.

Anyway. The guy driving the coach seemed fairly intrigued by what we were doing. It not often he picks up people at that border I reckon. And if you look here for a map (we were at the border near Malko Tarnovo) you can see it was a good 250Km over rubbish roads back into Bulgaria and round to Svilengrad in order to get a train if we didn't. So every now and then he (or one of his assistants) would come round with a bottle of what looked like oil and offer to pour it in our hands. I think it was alcohol hand wash stuff. Then he'd give us a small cup of water. He did this 3 or 4 times, every time we stopped.

So, the bus was a experience in itself, but it was very dark by the time we set off and we didn't really see much of Turkey which was pretty annoying. We arrived in Istanbul at about 2am. The bus station was a hideous mass of concrete, most of us had just woken up, most of us had no money and none of us knew where we were - the bus station wasn't on the original itinerary... Basically, not the best position to be in when you need to get taxi's for 10 people. The taxi drivers tried to rush us all into separate taxi's as if it was vitally important we left immediately but we managed to calm them down and agree a price before we set off. Probably not a very good one admittedly.

The taxi drivers are mental. To quote the Lonely Planet - "Driving in cities should be avoided - traffic is terrible and parking difficult." We were hurtled round the city at breakneck speed, and eventually got to our final destination - Hotel Troya. A few people were still up and around, so we went out and had a great kebab and few beers. Nothing big about that night, but it was still 5am before bed and just starting to get light.

Now, at this point I lack some vital information. While I dozed through the morning heat, the true Dumballers- those that had driven all the way to Istanbul, quietly got up and started driving, again. Apparently the exit from Istanbul was rapid and rivalled the taxi drivers. They even had time for a bit of formation driving before reaching Bulgaria and Svilengrad, where a train would be waiting for them at 2 o'clock. The cars were easily foisted onto grateful east-Europeans and they headed from the train... which had left 12 hours earlier - at 2am. An unwanted drama, but minor set back for now experienced Dumballers - taxis were accosted and finally every one was headed back to Istanbul in time for the final big night out...

What am i doing here?

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:47:16 GMT

Minibus, plane, shuttle bus, train, tube and bus so far today. Now i'll forgotten how London works and gone wrong. Nearly there.

So that's it. What a f-ing blinding trip. Rick'n'Nick have excelled themselves. I'll finish off updating the blog to tie up loose ends as soon as i can, but for now i'm done. Check the main website for details of next year and any reunions, but for now this is mobile Lukas, official roving reporter for the Dumball Rally 2, signing off.

Eight Dumballer left

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:35:20 GMT

And we've got one brain between us. To share as a starter. Yum.

Nearly there...

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:19:34 GMT

Where was I...

According to "The Computer", we had entered Turkey with a car, and obviously they wouldn't let us out again until the computer said it was OK. But Geary (the registered owner) had no stamp in his passport saying that we had entered with a car, so they couldn't (wouldn't?) give him a stamp out and remove it from the computer.

All this was goging on a oppersite ends of no-mans land. Each kept telling us to go back to the other. "Go and see Borish and tell him I said it was OK" was the kind of thing we had to deal with. The guy on the north end thought the rally was pretty cool and wanted us to get through and carry on. At one point he said "You are free to go. You are going to Istanbul." but he absolutely no right to say that. I was at this point that we spotted that heavily armed military check point. Keeping a very close eye on our game of limbo limbo. Eventually we managed to get them to actually go and talk to each other, decide and sort out what we were gong to do, and let us do it.

It was all very stressfull and a big mess, but it was also obvious that they weren't going to let us live in no-mans land and that they would have to sort something out. Geary (god bless him) was doing most of the fixing and running around, so even I'm a bit hazy on some of the details, but the next problem arose when it looked like we might actually be allowed in. The cars that could had gone on ahead. We were hoping for the world's greatest comeback - for Dumball One to arrive in Istanbul (last) despite there bveing blatant laws saying that it was impossible.

Unfortunately, we had made one minor mistake. We had let one of the other cars take our bags - we didn't know how we were gong to Istanbul and wanted to travel as lightly as possible. "Lightly" on the Dumball still includes an extracted car radio, assorted awards and prizes, a tool kit, DVD players, a bottle of spirits from each country, sets of walkies, chargers for everything under the sun and various fluffy toys. In one of the bags we had sent on was... the V5 log book for the car. There was no way we would be entering Turkey in Dumball One, and eventually we were allowed back into Bulgaria.

We had thought that once in Bulgaria we would have to sell or scrap the car somewhere and get on a train or coach to Istanbul. Bulgaria is a bit more lawless than turkey and geting rid of the car without the logbook should have been possible. It was a good 4 hours back to the coach station and maybe 6 to the train station. Buit watching all this with bafflement and a little bit of entertainment was a member of the local Bulgarian council. He offered to take the cars off our hands just the other side of the border and arrange for one of the coachs that was already going this way to stop and pick us up. In return for the cars, he would pay our coach fare. We jumped at the chance. Geary will have to confirm, but I beleive he said the car would be given to needy council employees. So Dumball does more good charity work.

So, there we are, just outside the Turkish border, all our worldly possesions on our backs waiting for a coach we don't really know much about to turn up. We conned another border guard into letting us into the duty free shop in no-mans land and getting some beers so that we would have something to do while we waited. When he realised that we were actually go ahead and drink them he was amazed/impressed/flabergasted/disgusted. That was a bit weird. But drink them we did, and within 30 mins, the coach hove into view and we finally beleived we would be on our way.

We were, but of course everyone already on the coach had to go through what we had just done at the border with the visa buying etc. That was another long wait. At around 11, 6 hours after we had arrived, we official crossed into Turkey and were on the last leg of the journey.

The last leg for some of course. Some people still had to go back to Bulgaria the next day to get rid of the cars. Of course they wanted an organiser with them. Murray stepped up to the plate and pretty soon after we got to Istanbul he did a Uy and headed straight back out again.

Ultimate hangover cure.

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 15:13:35 GMT

Full on Turkish bath experience. Heat up on a marble slab that heated from underneath by a fire that's been burning continuously for 85 years. Proper 40 degree sauna action - just when its getting too much, the next part arrives - a good scrub down and soaped up with a great pillow case trick I will be using, then get beaten up and messaged back to life by a big hairy Turk. Great.

The view from the roof of the hamam. Hopefully you can see a bridge there- beyond it in the distance lies Asia. Turns out we don't actually get there until we get the bus to the airport - like most people did this morning. I've lost big Addy and Geoff, Addy's lost his phone and I don't have Geoff's number. But i've left them a note and I'm hanging out with Dan mini-Addy and Sarah - the only people to miss the coach this morning...

So, yes i am trying to see a bit of Istanbul and not sit on a shitty PC with na foreign keyboard, but we've now got a laptop that can get at my pictures so if you're lucky you might get long story telling AND snaps soon.

UPDATE - met up with Addy and Geoff, we're all off to a fish restaurant. Now I'll try and explain a bit more about the border....

To the border

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 11:39:42 GMT

It's getting very confusing doing this all out of sync. We've had a whole day and big night out (have I said that they were all big?) in Istanbul, but I haven't explained the border yet. So...

After being dumped by the contacts in Burgas (Bulgaria) we had a long but very cool, windy, fast mountain road drive to the Turkish border. The brakes went again, while I was driving, which was quite 'exciting', but we know now its just old brake fluid boiling as we sat on the brakes going downhill - a bit of engine braking and the handbrake for a bit, the fluid cools down and the brakes return. Which was nice.

We arrive at a sign which said "Turkey - 1" at about 5pm. We didn't leave the border until gone 10. We passed through a series of borders and check points two out of Bulgaria and two into Turkey before we reached the final holding area before we could enter the country. A long series of windows Dr. Stranglove style; first you need to change some money, then buy a visa, then get that stamped into the country, then buy car insurance, then get your car stamped into the country. It had taken an hour or so to get this far - and that's when we hit our first problem.

The whole problem with Turkey is that the registered owner of the car cannot, under any circumstances, leave the country without the car that they entered in. It breaks down? You have to get it towed out. It gets stolen? Who knows, but we assume you'd have to pay the import fee. So, there is load of paperwork to deal with this. But they'd changed the rules recently - no cars over 20 years are allowed into the country. Dumball One was made in 1983. It has driven us 2000 miles across some pretty harsh terrain, it has a perfectly valid MOT and is legal in the UK. But that's not good enough for Turkey. We were refused entry point blank.

But they wouldn't let us back into Bulgaria either...

We're here!

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 14:02:46 GMT

Right. We've all made it to Istanbul - and many have had to go back to Svilengrad in Bulgaria to get rid of their cars. Made it to a PC, so no pic but lots of text. I'll try and explain what happened...

For months leading up the Dumball Rick had been negotiating with the Turkish customs about leaving the cars here. In the end they decided we probably wouldn't be able to leave them in the country so we thought that we would drive to Istanbul, and then back to Bulgaria to get rid of the cars.

As the journey went on, we were in constant contact with Falcon - a 'fixer' that the film crew knew of in Turkey. He was saying that it could be a possibility and he would get back to us. A one point, we had someone in Turkish customs who would take them off our hands for free - better still, they may even collect them from Istanbul. That fell through because the cars were right hand drive. Not long later, we had been told the import tax would be $750USD - not really an option. Soon after that, we were told that the British embassy had been told that the we couldn't leave the cars here whether we paid the tax or not - not even a choice.

The other problem we have been facing is our timings being way off. Most journeys were taking up to double what they were meant to, not even taking into account getting up late, stopping for food, petrol and toilet, breakdowns and a million other dramas along the way.

Faced with this situation, a couple of people sold their cars straight off in Varna in Bulgaria. It became clear that if you wanted to, the first Bulgarian you asked would take it for free, and even be prepared pay for some of them or to meet us at the border and do the deal there.

Rick'n'Nick had made some contacts who could meet us with lawyers and do all the Bulgarian paper work. We explained the situation and offered people a choice - we drive to the Bulgarian border, meet the contacts and start the paper work. From there you could either sell you car, hop in a bus and fail the Dumball or drive on to Istanbul, turn round again go back to a different border, and swap the cars the for a train ticket back. Knowing how long these things take, we though we would arrive in Istanbul at 9pm-ish and set off at 5am giving 14 hours to get back to the border, get rid of the cars and get back to Istanbul for the party at 7pm tonight.

The numbers were constantly changing, but in the end 3 people decided to sell them at the border, and the rest decided to push on. The Bulgarians pulled out at the last minute and ended up wasting hours of our time. But that wasn't why we didn't arrive at Istanbul until 2am this morning....

More on that in a bit!

The international incident.

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 19:24:38 GMT

Just realised i mentioned a machine gun and didn't really explain what is going on.

We're on a coach. Everyone is fine. Battery is about to go! Try and explain tomorrow.

adams apples going all the way

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:33:00 GMT

Its. 9.20. And after some fun and games with customs weripped out our jump seat to make space for luggage as dumball one and team stealth had cars too old to enter turkey their bags went into cars with space and the crews are driving bac to bulgaria to lose the cars before applying the dumball stickers to a minibus and then rejioning us all for the last run into istanbul. Yeeehah jbub rockon

No-man's land.

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 17:12:18 GMT

Dumball One is out of the race. The car is too old.

Now they won't let us back into Bulgaria, because the car hasn't been stamped out. It can't be stamped out until its been stamped in. It can't be stamped in because... Technically, the car is nowhere. Personally we have been stamped out of Bulgaria, stamped into Turkey and now stamped back out again. Apparently, we don't exist.

Now we've just noticed the guy with the machine gun watching us.

So we're playing limbo limbo!

Lets hit the beach!

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 11:26:10 GMT

And so we are at the beach. But how did we get here? After leaving the comfort of varna we set off for our meeting with the guys who will take out cars away tomorrow . But of course the were a few hiccups. First of all the world's most horrible crew broke down in the middle of town. What followed was the world's quickest ever roadside transaction. The car was given away to a taxi driver then we promptly drove away...

So now we are waiting for the legal documentation to be processed for our cars while we get some beach action. Almost well planned eh?

What to do with the cars?

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 07:36:11 GMT

The debate is on. £750 to leave the cars in Turkey. If they let us. Hundreds of hours to get then back to Bulgaria. Some people have already sold their cars in Varna.

But we had some good pool action yesterday. One final push...

Rhythm is a dancer.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 23:26:55 GMT

We're as serious as the Teenage Cancer Trust when we say that dancin' is a must.

For the uninitiated... Worse Lyrics Ever. Snap was playing when I took this. At a well cheesy club in Varna where we went for...

Addy's Birthday!!

Currently crossing the Bulgarian border.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 09:54:15 GMT

Amongst the many things being sold at the side of the road on the outskirts of Bucarest was this beautiful set of weighing scales. The scoundrels on the right theaterned to have us all killed us because we stole one of their shoes. But we gave it back, plus an extra Florin, and they were very happy with that.

Our resort last night was top. Creamy and Smally were the only people to get the lake in the end, but Michelle did fall in the swimming pool because she was carrying a very cute small dog and didn't see it. ...I didn't know it when I wrote this, but the pool was empty and she really hurt herself! But the puppy was OK, so that's alright...

How did that car get like that?!

We set off at a unprecedented 9am, desperate to get to the beach in good time. We're finding the timings to be a little inaccurate...

Snagov Lake Resort

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 00:04:43 GMT

We're in east-romainian, crazy driving, air conditioned, can't stay for long, lake based luxury.

Hosepipe nearly came on the Dumball...

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 17:31:14 GMT

So I'm eating a Joe sandwich:

Been on the road for over 10 hours now. But we have a resort with a lake, villas and jacuzzis waiting for us...

It was Creamy's birthday last night...

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 16:56:28 GMT

So we racked up 60 shots of sambuca.

Welcome to Cluj-Napoca's finest.

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 16:46:56 GMT

Check out our communist hotel. Notice the missing windows on the upper floor- they can be found knocking about under the 1st floor balcony, which it is alleged a certain person may have jumped off at 4am.

It was a hard night and a hard days driving- so i'll just tell the story in pictures.

Look at the amount of crap in our car.

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 14:05:17 GMT

Rick has a penchant for buying stupid stuffed toys from east european garages. The police car is quite good- it says 'Stop. We are the force of the law.' in hungarian. And the banana was brought because it was fully of sweets. Only when emptied did we realise it was a blimin' water pistol too!!

We're in Romania now. Things get a bit fruitier from here on in... And the Romanian mentalness is rubbing off on the gang.

We have a possible Kofi Annan award...

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 11:10:15 GMT

Ice White have excelled themselves. When they set off last night they were going out to find their 'alcoholic tramp friend who lives at the train station' and see if he wanted to come, but soon realised he probably didn't have a passport.

Instead they found their way to an outdoor club and picked up Viola- she's agreed to come all the way to Istanbul and more importantly she's wearing white all the way. Shortly after this photo was taken she realised she'd better phone her dad and tell him where she was going...

By the way- when i said 'the group finally split up' no offence was meant to anyone! It just gets a bit tricky to sheppard 70 people about and find restaurants bars and clubs to fit and suit everyone. And you get to hear everyone else's stories in the morning!

We're now cruising in a 9 car convoy (us and most of Team Embassy's squad) and have got the the driving down to a find art. Our training has paid off and we're now like a 36 wheeled snake, pulling out from the back for ruthlessly efficent overtaking. Geary and Matt are in the back watching England 5 Germany 1 while we all listen to James Bond soundtracks. How patriotic.

We've just bought Guess Who and planned for later is an inter-car game via the walkies. See you in Cluj Napoca...

It's Tuesday so it must be Hungary

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 10:00:09 GMT

After some great Goulash last night, we wake on Tuesday morning in beautiful and sunny Budapest. Once again it's 'herding cats' time as we try to get everybody out of the city to the right motorway services. 9 cars made it (eventually) and we are now on the way to Cluj-Napoca (no, we had never heard of it either!)
Regards from Adam's Apples !!

We went to a club with a slide in it!

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 19:16:24 GMT

...from the upstairs down onto the dancefloor. We did, honest. That's it in the corner. That's Ice White still gleaming. We owned bratislava.

This morning we got escorted out of the city right to the border which was ace, but bloody slow because they took us down the motorway at 45mph. Stealth did in their pants for a challenge. Very Stealthy...

Been driving all day. Big night last night. Eaten nothing, knackered. The group have finally split up and done their own things. We've found ourselves a quiet restaurant on a boat on the Danube.

If they blogging slows down it's just cos i'm driving or there's no time because of some drama or i'm just too tired! Can't be continually texting at the table. Best be off.

What a beautiful sight.

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 19:08:12 GMT

Our best (only?) best group shot yet.

Dumball One Team Leader and Rally Organiser	The World's Most Horrible Team	Nationwide's Kwikest
Ice White	The Daisy Dukes	Team Hud

Raging Bull - Team Leader	Rave Rockets	Middle Eastern Mussel Patrol
Steel Mobile	Samara Monkeys	The Begrudgers